


I Say No

by AndiMackmeetsHeathers



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:55:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22308292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndiMackmeetsHeathers/pseuds/AndiMackmeetsHeathers
Summary: Veronica realises how messed up JD is and decides to confront him about it.She wanted to be normal. Normality shouldn't be so hard to achieve, but this guy was, without a doubt,  psychopath.She shouldn't have got caught up in this mess. She shouldn't have flirted with him in 7/11. She shouldn't have fled to his room the night Heather Chandler threatened to kill her. She shouldn't have listened to what he said, let him get on her head.She shouldn't have even met Jason Dean in the first place.Mentions Canon deaths only.
Relationships: Heather Duke/Heather McNamara, Jason "J. D." Dean/Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	1. Dear Diary

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this isn't great. Trigger warning: this mentions death and suicide, and there is a bit of swearing. I hope you enjoy this. Font forget to give comments and kudos if you enjoyed this!
> 
> Only canon deaths occur.

Veronica slammed her door shut furiously, hard, tears pouring down her face.

What the fuck had she just done? 

Surely, it was the right thing to do, though. She was addicted to JD, let him consume her thoughts and feelings. His ideas became hers. His dark fantasies became hers. His wicked thoughts about people became hers. He was toxic, to be honest. Toxic. Without a doubt. 

Breaking up with him, officially, was going to be the hardest thing, because Jason Dean never took 'no' for an answer. Then again, she hadn't exactly said no to him, just stormed off.

After all, who did he think he was? They didn't control who lived or died. She wanted to be seventeen with him. She wanted to be normal. Normality shouldn't be so hard to achieve, but this guy was, without a doubt, a psychopath. 

Unlike most, Veronica did not use this word lightly. She knew what psychopathy looked like. Take uncle Bernard, for example. Veronica winced as she thought of him. He'd certainly been a nasty piece of work, to say the least. Veronica was ashamed to even be associated with him. So, why wasn't she ashamed to be associated with JD? 

Was it his seemingly endless charisma? Was it the way his eyes twinkle whenever a new idea hit him? Was it that blinding smile? Or was it, perhaps, the way his hair flopped when he was leaning down to write or even his seductive wink? She couldn't be sure, but she has fallen hard, she knew without a doubt.

Why had she let herself? She shouldn't have got caught up in this mess. She shouldn't have flirted with him in 7/11. She shouldn't have fled to his room the night Heather Chandler threatened to kill her. She shouldn't have listened to what he said, let him get on her head.

She shouldn't have even met Jason Dean in the first place. 

But, alas, she had, and she needed to face the consequences of that. Three murders. One unintentionally perpetrated by her. It was a miracle the cops were dumb and didn't do anything round here, otherwise they'd have caught on and arrested them. Murder was serious. As was manslaughter, which Veronica had technically committed. 

Ram...she'd killed Ram. Veronica's hand flew to her mouth in an instant as it hit her. No thanks to JD, she'd killed someone. Sure, he was an asshole, but did he really deserve it? It was her fault for getting entangled with JD, for tricking Ram and Kurt over the phone and giggling like a little child when they believed her deceptive words. 

Yes, he was horrible, but Ram Sweeney never deserved to die. 

Nor did Kurt. Or Heather Chandler, for that matter. Sure, Heather Chandler was malicious and horrible, plain and simple, but that didn't warrant her a death penalty. The personalities and behaviours of those her and JD had murdered didn't justify their deaths. They didn't even come close. 

And now, they were trapped in a web of deception and lies, only JD never truly felt guilty. Not really. Whereas, Veronica, on the other hand, she let guilt consume her and swallow her whole. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw Heather's lifeless body, her clammy hands cupped around the glass of bleach which had killed her. Everyone saw her as a hero, a martyr. They though she'd been depressed and misunderstood. 

Ha. They couldn't be more wrong. She was a bitch. They were so oblivious. The entire student body were so stupid sometimes. God. It made Veronica's head ache just thinking about it. 

Still, condemning her to death wasn't the way to achieve justice. It wasn't a morally righteous thing to do. It wasn't going to remove the social hierarchy, either. It wasn't going to stop rumours about people like Veronica, or the blatant bullying of people like Martha, or the judgements of people like JD that led him to become a recluse and an outcast. 

Stop it, Veronica chastised herself. Stop sympathizing with him. Stop making him seem heroic. He deserved to be treated like an outcast. But the social hierarchy was bullshit, of course. 

Still, two wrongs never made a right. That had been instilled in her form a young age, but JD was clearly missing that from his childhood; his mother was desd and his father was crazy. He was forced to fight the world, fight the pain he felt inside. He'd done that the wrong way, by hitting out and hurting people. Just because it was in her defence, it didn't make him brave. 

In fact, it made him a coward, if anything. He didn't deserve her love it attention. Veronica had more self respect than that. 

Or did she?

Shaking her head, Veronica moved towards her diary, her legs shaking like crazy. 

Dear diary, she began, through her tears. 

JD is a psychopath. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. I don't need him and he doesn't deserve me. I've been deluding myself this whole time. I don't care about his intentions, he's a horrible person. Heather Chandler, Ram and Kurt didn't deserve to die. Only me and the monster I created. 

By this point, her tears had made her vision blurry. She needed to confront JD. Now. 

Shaking still yet determined all the same, Veronica stood up, her breathing heavy, and left her house. 

This was it. She had to confront him. 

Before more things happened. Before he killed someone else.

Before it was too late.


	2. I Say No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Veronica? What are you doing in my room?"
> 
> "Sorry but I really had to wake you. I've decided I have to break up with you." 
> 
> "Are you challenging me, Jason Dean?" 
> 
> "Are you challenging me, Veronica Sawyer?"
> 
> "That's what you get for breaking up with me, princess."
> 
> "I'm not a princess." Veronica growled, attempting to move off him. "I'm a goddamn queen." 
> 
> Come on, Veronica, she told herself in the most reassuring manner she could possibly muster. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. 
> 
> She could do this. She was ready. This was a matter of now or never. 
> 
> "Our Love is God. And remember, life can be beautiful. Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for swearing and violence. 
> 
> This was rushed, sorry it's not great or authentically written, but I hope you enjoy this anyway!💙
> 
> Have an amazing day and don't forget to leave kudos and a comment if you liked this! (:

"Veronica? What are you doing in my room?" 

"Sorry but I really had to wake you. I've decided I have to break up with you." 

JD jumped up from his bed like a madman and pinned Veronica to his wall. Veronica struggled against him.

"Oh no, you fucking don't-" 

"Are you challenging me, Jason Dean?" 

"Are you challenging me, Veronica Sawyer?"

Veronica struggled once this grip again. How was he so strong? She attempted to move her leg upwards, to kick him in the groin, but he slammed against her, punching her nose in the process.

"My nose is bleeding, you prick!"

JD scowled. 

"That's what you get for breaking up with me, princess." 

"I'm not a princess." Veronica growled, attempting to move off him. "I'm a goddamn queen." 

JD chuckled mirthlessly. The way he tilted his head back when he laughed was more than enough to make Veronica question her decisions, and almost bring down her defences. Realistically, she knew that it would be much easier to just grovel at his feet, and beg for his forgiveness while sobbing. To be allowed back into the waiting arms, the very ones that were currently trapping her, and press a gentle kiss to the lips that were forming words used to hurt her. 

But no. She was stronger than that, much stronger. Resisting was bolder, braver, better. Damn the patriarchy for ever teaching women otherwise. Of course, this wasn't a matter of feminism or equality or amubting, but more about self defense. 

"Then explain to me why you're the one who's pinned down right now." 

Growling at the murderer in front of her, Veronica managed to use the adrenaline coursing through her to her advantage and kicked JD in the groins. Subsequently, JD cried out in pain and sunk to the floor in agony, damning her with every curse word under the sun. 

"How do you like me now?" 

JD flipped her off.Vedonica flicked her hair with a smirk. Somehow, she'd managed to sound him. Therefore, she was safe-for now, at least. Twenty seconds was probably the only time she actually had to get her point across to JD and break up with him properly. 

"I hate you." 

"Good." Veronica laughed. "So you should do. Anyway, I came here to tell you about how morally wrong it is to take away other people's lives. They had parents too, JD. They had books and classes and political views and pets and hobbies and friends. They had purpose and meaning and potential. At the end of the day, Jason, they had lives to lead. I don't doubt that for a second They were human too, you know, and had so much life ahead of them. Perhaps Ram and Kurt were somewhat deserving of their deaths, being-well-rapists, and all, granted. But Heather Chandler? Really? Yes, she wasn't a good person, but given half a chance she could have been. So could you, I reckon. Or anybody. But it's too late for them to escape that fate, now."

By this point, salty tears streamed out of Veronica's eyes like waterfalls. Sure, they were horrible, but they were just people. Not to mention, she'd nearly lost Martha and Heather McNamara because of those murders. Of course, one had to take into consideration the fact that Heather Duke was getting too big for her boots, thinking she could control this and that, when she was wrong. So wrong. Eyes widening, Veronica was hit by the realisation of something rather significant; it mattered not about the red scrunchie itself and the power it held, but the demeanour and attitude of the one wearing it. It was entirely down to them.

How could she have been so stupid as to not think that was always the case? Power was nothing. Power was everything. When her and JD believed they could play God, that they controlled over people's lives, it had made them happy. It has given the two of them self worth. A purpose, almost, as crazy as that sounded. 

Back to the point. Empathy should always be exercised when it came to the emotional needs of other people, but Veronica felt as though this revelation had arrived too late for any sort of action to be taken. 

"What's your point?" JD probed with a scowling setting on his face. 

Emboldened by her earlier words and demeanour, Veronica straightened herself up and cleared her throat emphatically. This was it. Showtime. Time to stand up and give JD what for. Karma was definitely beggining to come back around, as hippie as that belief made Veronica feel.

Come on, Veronica, she told herself in the most reassuring manner she could possibly muster. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. 

She could do this. She was ready. This was a matter of now or never. 

Better now than never, Veronica reasoned with herself as confidently as she possibly could. This was it. It as official. Jason Dean was about to get told. 

"It might be too late for them, but it's certainly not too late for me to make my escape. And you know what? I say no. You want me back, but in your face, as defiantly as possible, I say no. And, for the record, no means no. Full stop. I intend to liberate myself. Also, I no longer want you in my life anymore. Sorry, JD, but that's the way it has to be."

Mouth hanging low, JD just stared at the girl in front of the eyes. She had such boldness and audacity within her to defy him in such a way. Yet her points were astute, he'd lend that to her, at least. However, thayt didn't mean he wasn't heartbroken. He was human, you see.

Just about.

"Our love is God. Come on, keep talking to me. We can sort this out." 

"You just hurt me. Do you really think I would take you back, after everything? Sorry, but you're wrong. I'm leaving." 

At the realisation of what he'd just done, waves of nausea and guilt flooded through JD. What was he thinking? He shouldn't have been so violent with Veronica, the (former?) love of his life. She'd brought joy and passion and excitement and love into his life. How could he be so horrible to her?

JD's face softened slightly as he realised the woman be loved could finally he independent, and well and truly happy within herself. 

"That's a reasonable reaction, actually, as long as you don't talk about what we did with those people. Thanks for everything." 

Veronica sighed. Unfortunately, her feelings for JD were so complex. She'd seen him soften his face ever so slightly and jumped on it instantly, demonstrating that he was cute. 

Even though JD was, funnily enough, he opposite of adorable. Despite her mixed feelings towards him, a concoction of love and lust and joy and dear and anger and fury and disgust and complete hated, she still wished him well. 

Regardless of this, that was a story for another day. The point was, Veronica would be happy. He should be happy for her.

"Look, Iove you still, despite what you did and how messed up you are. But I can't stay with you, for the sake of my mental health and to give me more opportunities." 

JD nodded, attempting to ignore the flaming rage which was building up in his body, overpowering making him glow with pure adrenaline." 

"I love you too. Good luck, Veronica Sawyer. You'll go far in life, I'm sure."

"I'm sure, as well." 

"I'm sorry for everything." 

Eyes brimming with years threatening to spill over into her pale cheeks, which were illuminated by the moonlight softly streaming through JD's window, Veronica stepped forward and hugged JD. Hesitantly, he hugged her back. 

"Me too, JD. Me too. I'm sorry it had to be this way. Continue reading and freezing your brain, yeah? Write some more poetry and take photos. Go to therapy, if possible. Observe the world around you from a new lens. And don't let anyone tell you life is war. Before I leave you, will you let me give you one last piece of advice?" 

Pulling away from the hug reluctantly, JD nodded in spite of the tears clouding his vision. Although he couldn't tell whether the following words were going to be sarcastic or not, he trusted Veronica to be raw and real with him, one last time.

"S-sure." 

The corners of Veronica's lips reached upwards into a small smile at the bittersweet moment and the pangin her what when she thiught about all the good times, the fun dates and the passionate nature of their relationship. It had been her first, and she was more than certain it wouldn't be her last. Regardless of this, their break up was emotional, without a doubt. 

And she wouldn't have it any other way.

"Whenever in doubt about the morals of the world, just remind yourself of the following: life can be beautiful. You've just got to discover that. Goodbye and good, Jason Dean. I'll miss you." 

"I'll miss you too, always. Our love is God." JD saluted at her. 

Laughingly, through he hazy vision; Veronica saluted back as she headed the same way she'd pursed their relationship: his bedroom window. 

"Our Love is God. And remember, life can be beautiful. Always." 

That being said, Veronica dropped down from JD's window as he wave down at her with a smile, using the ivy stealthily creeping up the crumbling brickwork become her ladder. 

As she landed on the ground, Veronica wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket, knowing perfectly well that this was what was best for them both. 

They'd had some good times, granted, and some awful ones, but that was only to be expected with any relationship (despite the obvious abnormalities in theirs). 

As toxic as it has been, that relationship had formed who Veronica Sawyer was as a person now, she thought as she walked towards the light of freedom and happiness. 

And she wouldn't change it for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this until the end, hopefully enjoyed it! Comment your thoughts on this fic below and have a brilliant day, you wonderful human being! (:

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to comment if you enjoyed this so far! What do you think will happen next?


End file.
